Marijuana Isn't A Gateway Drug, But the Commentary Is Hilarious

I stumbled upon this article some time ago, and always meant to write about it, but for some reason or another, I just couldn't find my muse...until now. In brief, the article basically covers what most of us already know, that cannabis use is not a gateway to other drugs. However, according to this article we no longer need to rely on common sense as the "gateway" theory has now been dis-proven by a definitive scientific study. The article itself is informative, but the comments, oh man the comments, don't even get me started...too late, I'm already started.

"We Value Our Brain

April 24, 2009 by Anonymous, 21 weeks 5 days ago

Comment id: 36349

ha ha
There is no way that none-users will "try" marijuana.

We value our brains, as they are, undamaged. You will never get your intellect back.

We will never be influenced by user comments."

That's fantastic! If you don't smoke pot, then there will be more for me. On the subject of your brain being undamaged, well first off, I think it may be more damaged than you think as the title of your comment is "We Value Our Brain." We? Brain? As in two people sharing one brain? Are you sharing your brain with a conjoined twin?

By the way, I still have my intellect as pot doesn't cause brain damage, but alcohol does Mr./Ms. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I apologize to anyone who actually has FAS and was offended by being compared to this genius.

"Dear Anonymous (Comment id: 36223)

April 21, 2009 by Anonymous, 22 weeks 1 day ago

Comment id: 36311

Response to the writer of "you know what look at a." You are not doing any good to the people who want to legalize marijuana. You see what a life time of smoking pot does to you. Makes you write long run on sentence full of misspellings. Set the bong down and pick up a grammar book you illiterate son of a..."

Oh, oh dude, let me help you out and make some much needed corrections to your post...

Here is how it should look:

In response to the author of the post titled You Know What Look At A. You are not doing any good for the people who want to legalize marijuana. Don't you see what a life time of smoking pot does to you? It makes you write long wrong on sentences full of misspellings. Set the bong down and pick up a grammar book you illiterate son of a bitch (this is the Internet, its okay to swear).

Now who is the illiterate one?

In all fairness though, the post he/she was replying to wasn't very eloquent...

"You Know What Look At A

April 17, 2009 by Anonymous, 22 weeks 5 days ago

Comment id: 36223

you know what look at a smoker of tobacco then look at a smoker of weed can you figure out the diffrience cause i know what it is one ask a smoker who smokes daily for a ciggerete then look at a kid 15 16 and see what he dose when he gets some the first thing he dose is calls his or her friends and saies hey man i just got some cool new shit bring your piece and we can smoke some bowl then go and ask a smoker of cigertettes and see what they say some will give it to you and walk away and mabey offer you a light but others will just be like no i see weed as a better thing to do if any of the two even if it is illegaile thats why ill never smoke a ciggerete peace"

I'm not even going to go there, except to say that pot use is not a reliable indicator of literacy.

"Hey stupid, yeah you

April 15, 2009 by Anonymous, 23 weeks 3 hours ago

Comment id: 36165

just to let your pot smoking ass know...MAIL is spelled MALE..im assuming since you are possibly a MALE you should know how to spell your own gender. just a thought...have a nice day love you bye

love michelle"

Holy Shit! That is feisty. In all seriousness though, is this your argument for why pot should be illegal? Simply because it may cause someone to spell "male," "mail?" How can you get on someone about something so trivial when you don't even capitalize your own name?

"Yeppp

February 25, 2009 by Anonymous, 30 weeks 2 hours ago

Comment id: 34834

Hmmm. All I have to say is screw the studies and look at the facts. If you look around ANY high school, the teenagers catorgorized under "stoners" AREN'T the straight A students and don't participate in any extra cirrucular activities. I believe weed ruins relationships and makes you say stupid things that aren't yourself!! If your going to smoke pot, look around you first."

Screw the studies and look at the facts? Where the hell do you think facts come from? Your facts obviously come from your butt-hole. Furthermore, I never got straight A's in high school, and yet I never tried cannabis until after I graduated. Does that mean that because I didn't get straight A's in high school that I was a stoner by default? Oh, oh! I think I have an answer; not that many students get straight A's. Think about that the next time you go see your doctor (if you have health care that is). By the way, you spelled "categorized" and "curricular" wrong.

I'm going to stop there because there are far too many comments, and too few hours in the day to dissect and criticize them.

To see these comments and more go here. Its well worth reading the comments if you need a good laugh, in addition to a lively Internet debate, there are also plenty of accusations of folks knob slobbing, dick sucking, ass licking and being retarded to boot.