My New Favorite Kind of Bud

Its called Super God bud, and it is absolutely fierce. I picked up quantity of it the other day, and without realizing how powerful it was, I rolled a king size joint of the stuff to share with three friends. While rolling we went through a couple bong loads. Needless to say by the end of the session, we were stoned sideways, I mean, we were so baked we didn't even talk, we just sat there staring at each other like a bunch of statues.

Moral of the story, if you friendly stranger contacts you about getting some great bud called Super God, do yourself a favor and buy a bag, you won't be disappointed.

On the subject of Vaporizers...

This just needs to be said, the price of vaporizers is outrageous. For the amount of money these things cost, you'd think that they would be marvels of technology, some are even more expensive than a new iPod. The truth is though, the vaporizer is comprised of very simple, very cheap technology. These things can't cost much to make, and for the amount of money they cost, you'd expect them to be a bit more impressive.

I do not intend to say that vaporizers are not worth getting, they are. The trouble is, they are so expensive that for many people, they are priced out of competition by less expensive glass pipes. Also, in my experience, head shops don't tend to carry a good selection of vaporizers. My guess is because they are expensive, and more difficult to sell due to their high price tag.

Many of my friends speak of their experiences of smoking from a vaporizer like it was a one time thing (like a threesome). The reason is that vaporizers are expensive, and thus less common in the ever-growing ganja community. Due to their rarity less smokers have a chance to experience the benefits and advantages of a vaporizer, and are thus less willing to pay the premium for simple looking but very expensive pot smoking contraption. Imagine, paying two hundred dollars for a device that does what a cheap ten to twenty five dollar pipe can do, and not much more.

Health benefits and weed conservation aside, vaporizer prices just aren't justifiable. For the amount they cost, I expect some kind of medical grade looking device instills confidence in its capabilities. Unfortunately, vaporizers either look like toys, lamps, or bubble-gum dispensers. Its shameless gouging, and the vaporizer manufactures need to drop the prices within reason. At the very least, cut it down to 900% mark-up.



See, bubble-gum dispensers.

How to Scrape a Pipe

We've all been there, out of bud and desperate for a hit. We've all stooped to the same lows; scouring the house for weed, smoking the stems, and scraping the pipe. None of these methods is very satisfying, and worse yet they are all a pain in the ass.

Scraping your pipe is the worst of the desperate options a stoner has. I have learned from personal experience that this can oftentimes end very poorly. Three of my pipes have been broken during resin collecting accidents, and considering how much a glass pipe can cost, this can be very disappointing.

Odds are, you're still planning to scrape your pipe, but before you do, let me say this; DON"T DO IT MAN! ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?! No, seriously, don't do it, I have a much better alternative.

What You Need: -A glass jar large enough so that your pipe will fit inside
-Something to cover the jar
-A full supply for 99% isopropyl alcohol (Don't opt for the cheep/weak stuff, it will fail you)
-Another jar
-Some paper coffee filters
-A glass bowl (if it isn't glass or ceramic don't go there)

Ok, now if you have any inclination to use anything other than glass for your jar and bowl, don't. The process that you will be doing will not work well with plastics (and it could be harmful to your health).
What You Do

1. Put your pipe in the jar
2. Pour alcohol into the jar until your pipe is fully submerged
3. Put a lid over the jar and let it sit for at least a day

At this point you are probably thinking that I'm just fucking with you, but fear not, for the Guru doesn't do that kind of shit. I'm your friend remember.

Now that you have given your pipe a day to soak, the alcohol should look and smell pretty gross. This is good. Go ahead and pull your pipe out of the alcohol and rinse it off. Now don't get rid of the alcohol because you aren't done with it yet. As you will see, when your rinse your pipe out, the end result will be a practically new looking pipe. This is because alcohol is a strong solvent and a damn good cleanser.

Here is the best part, getting back all of that THC that was stuck to the inside of your pipe. If you don't know it already, THC is absorbed by alcohol and other solvents, so the THC that was in your pipe, is now in the alcohol.

Now, do you remember the bowl, coffee filters, and the other jar I told you to get? Of course not, you're probably stoned, that's ok, I don't frown on that, but you should probably read go get those things if you haven't already.

Go ahead and secure a coffee filter in your empty jar with a rubber band or some tape. Now slowly pour the alcohol that you used to clean your pipe through the coffee filter and into the other jar. This will ensure that the bits of soot and what not will be filtered out of the alcohol. After that, pour the now filtered alcohol into your bowl. Have you done all that? Good.

Now just go ahead and leave your bowl of alcohol in your garage or outside (away from the weather) and let it sit. Check back on it now and then, but it should be evaporating. On a hot day in the sun, it should evaporate within a day or two, otherwise a week or so. DO NOT BE IMPATIENT! DO NOT, AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, DO NOT USE A HEAT SOURCE TO INDUCE EVAPORATION, YOU COULD BLOW YOURSELF UP. I said it, that's your one warning, if you burn your house down doing this, it won't be my fault because I told you not to do it.

Once all of the alcohol ( and I do mean all so don't be impatient) has evaporated you should be left with a black goo. It will be very sticky, and have the consistency of toffee. This is hash, use a razor blade and scrape up every last bit. Use it sparingly, it will get you plenty stoned with even the smallest quantity.

Enjoy!